When are children no longer children?

Okay, there are people who have plenty of cash to spare, and jolly good luck to them, and I can see how they get pleasure from helping out their offspring. If l came up with a nice big lottery win {some chance!} I’d be happy to help my kids out, but mine have learned not to ask

My youngest daughter knows about as much about financial management as l do about quantum physics. For years, she relied on me, and on her elder sister, to ball her out when she get into financial difficulties, which seemed to be at least twice a year. When your daughter’s threatened with having the bailiffs in, what else can you do but help?

But it gradually dawned on both me and elder daughter that youngest daughter was well aware of this; she know perfectly well that if she ignored enough bills, to the point where she was in serious danger of having power cut off and so forth, then we’d bail her out as usual.

So we waited until the next time and then, to her horror, declined to help unless she agreed to certain rules. These included writing to all her creditors making arrangement to pay agreed regular sums, and having her entire income paid into joint account with her sister, withdrawals from which required both signatures.

It took ages for her to get straight, but she did in the end and thanks to the self-discipline into her, has pretty much stayed that way.

Some people to whom I’ve mentioned this think it a damned good idea, others have implied that l was cruel and heartless, and that it was my responsibility to help her out. But l’ve just seen so many people deny themselves some of the treats and pleasures, and even the security of their finances in their mature years just for the sake of keeping their kids solvent.

Obviously in a real crisis one has to rally round, but there’s a big difference between a crisis and simply offspring who want to have more than they can afford to acquire.

We live in interesting times financially, and fact remains that if you run short of funds in your retirement years there isn’t any way out of it. You can’t earn more when you’re not earning in the first place, and to have to endure financial insecurity in your mature years-especially in your old age- is terrible.

If parents have a responsibility to their children whilst they’re young, there’s surely a counter-argument that ‘children’ in their maturity have something of a responsibility towards their parents.

I don’t know if l’m right or not that children, when they cease to be children, should be expected to stand on their own two feet; I’m just glad that mine do, now at any rate, and leave me free to indulge myself at will, rather that feel l have any financial responsibility towards them!I